Word has got around that not all hairdressers are gay and not all lesbians have short hair. Germany now has marriage for all and is more tolerant of homosexuals than ever before, there are hardly any prejudices left, one might think. In reality it looks a bit different.
Jan Noll, editor-in-chief of the gay and lesbian city magazine “Siegessäule”, knows the clichés that still haunt us. “The gay hairdresser holds his own,” he says. Gays are still questioning their masculinity and lesbians their femininity.
When Noll leaves his Berlin environment and the filter bubble on the Internet, he hears such sentences: “I think it’s great that you’re so openly gay. But why do all gays have to be so faggy?” He misses the feeling for everyday discrimination in Germany. He sees the social climate as rather backward-looking, thanks to “AfD and AfD”. “It would be naive to believe that what we have achieved is carved in stone.
Bird of paradise with Prosecco bottle?
Markus Ulrich from the Lesbian and Gay Association in Germany still notices a lot of uncertainty in society.
“The closer you zoom in, the more fragile it becomes,” says Ulrich. According to the motto: “They should be allowed to get married, but I don’t want to see them kissing each other”. Even if homosexuals are different: “That’s not what it’s all about. And even if all gays were hairdressers and all lesbians had short hair: “Is there a reason why they should be treated worse?
The cliché of the gay man as a bird of paradise with a Prosecco bottle in his hand has survived. That’s also because the shrill drag queens at the street parades for Christopher Street Day are such a good photo motif. Who is interested in the many people with jeans and T-shirts?
For women there is the magazine “Straight“, which wants to get away from the clichés. In a “Bullshit Bingo” it listed hetero slogans: “I know some, too. They are actually quite normal”. Or: “And who is the man with you?”
Do lesbians miss anything in bed?
Another common question is whether lesbians miss something in bed after all. “No thanks, nothing is missing”, writes author Nadine Lange in the recently published book “Heteros fragen, Homos Answorten”. “We don’t miss any guys in bed – that’s why we’re lesbians. Just believe it.”
- But according to the book there is something about one cliché: Many gays like pop singer Marianne Rosenberg.
- But of course there are also gays who don’t like Barbra Streisand and Liza Minnelli.
- It was good for the self-confidence of masculine women, called “butches” in the scene, that Kerstin Ott is now a pop singer from her ranks.
As far as marriage for all is concerned, which replaces the registered civil partnership on Sunday, the wedding planners have known for a long time the celebrations that men’s and women’s couples celebrate. They are not so much different. “There is everything”, says wedding planner Marco Fuß. Some lesbians are therefore quite conservative with a sawbuck in front of the registry office. Gay weddings are sometimes even more bourgeois than hetero weddings. Planner Ulrich Knieknecht sees that homosexual couples are not interested in formal reasons.
“When they marry, it’s a conscious decision made out of love.”